Am I too sensitive? …

Dear Gillian,

If you can help me with this point I will be very thankful. I am a very sensitive, touchy person. I am now better than before. But still it is uncomfortable. I do not understand why I am this way. I do not know how to be a little stronger or maybe I should say normal. If someone hurts me I stay thinking about it for long hours and maybe days, and if I remember it after weeks I again feel upset and angry. Now that I am an adult I guess I learnt how to swallow the reaction. I am often silent when I am criticized or verbally hurt. I do not show what I feel. But after several incidents I feel that I have a gallon of tears inside and the least thing can make it explode. Am I too sensitive?

For example, the manager that I work for did not pay me my wages which she should have 6 weeks ago. But I feel worried about asking her to pay me. I know this sounds very silly, stupid and incredible for many. I know I need to ask her to give me a raise because the pay is so little. But I do not know how to do it and I feel scared too of getting hurt. You are maybe thinking now that I have a weak character. Perhaps you are right but I am very good teacher in my classroom and my students love me and respect me. Why do I behave differently in two places! I do not understand.

It is strange to tell you that not only sad things move me strongly but happy things as well.  I do not understand why I have those intense feelings. I have always been like that since I was a baby. My mother has always rebuked me for that. I often feel that others will not understand me. They may think that I am exaggerating while I am actually not! This is exactly how I feel.  For all this I am unhappy about myself. It is an embarrassing situation. I guess this is one reason why I am a loner.

I hope that my email is not very long for you and that I did not bother you with the details. I mentioned them just to be as clear as possible.  I hope that you will find some time to reply amidst your busy schedule. I am already grateful for you because you said, ” If there is anything you need help or guidance with just let me know.” This is really so sweet and it truly fills my heart with joy

Dear Jessica,

I am honoured by what you have chosen to share with me.

As you know, the essential message of Louise is that we have to love ourselves in order to change. The things that make it most difficult to change are the negative messages running through our heads some of which we are unaware of. These mostly come from childhood but can also be accumulated through life experiences. These negative thoughts break our spirit, the constant criticism beats us up. You are also adding to this when you speak of yourself as “weak” etc. if you read your message again you will see that quite often you criticize yourself.

So, what to do about it.

  •  Firstly stop all self criticism right now.
  • start using positive affirmations as you saw in Louise’s’ book, to support yourself. looking yourself in the eye in the mirror and saying them aloud is effective but can be scarey or disturbing at first. it just does not feel right. Gradually it will start to sink in and not feel so odd. You have years of negative messages, thoughts and feelings to clear, so talking to yourself lovingly and positively on a daily basis would not be too much. Pick one positive affirmation like ” I love and accept myself now” or “everything is working out perfectly for my highest good and greatest joy” and say it to yourself over and over again during the day in your head.
  • You are a wonderful teacher, treat yourself as you would a student in your class learning something new.
  • Be kind and gentle with yourself.
  • It is important that you do some practical exercises to clear all the negativity inside and find out what has really been going on, these things are best done with a “professional” as they can guide and advise on the safe and effective way for this. If you were here I would have you come to my weekend workshop as it is the quickest way to clear out all the negativity, or I would see you one to one. If you can afford to travel then I would be delighted to have you come to a workshop, we have a local airport in Cardiff, but it may well be that there is someone closer.
  • Whatever you do, once you have begun supporting yourself with positive thoughts and done some clearing work you will naturally be able to go deeper and connect with your authentic self.  The self who would maybe like your life to be very different from the way it is, without pre-judging the outcome.

I have a positive affirmation CD “Heartfelt” which would be particularly beneficial in your case that makes it easy to do your affirmation work and gives you an “affirmation bath” brilliant when using headphones.

Take a break from thinking about the things you “should” do and just affirm that “what I need to know and do is revealed to me” and “I trust in the process of life and what I need comes to me now in the perfect way”.

I am here for you.

2 thoughts on “Am I too sensitive? …

  1. gillian Post author

    I recently received an email from a lovely lady who says she found the book The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron very useful. She says “It has been hugely helpful to myself, as well as the book about the highly sensitive child, which Aron has also authored. It offers a lot of specific tools for her(Jessica), with which she can learn to tackle her sensitivity and come to see it as a strength as opposed to a weakness”.

  2. gillian Post author

    I recently received an email about the book The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron. She says “It has been hugely helpful to myself, as well as the book about the highly sensitive child, which Aron has also authored. I hope you will be so kind to send on my recommendations to Jessica on reading this book, because it offers a lot of specific tools for her, with which she can learn to tackle her sensitivity and come to see it as a strength as opposed to a weakness”.

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