Problems Getting on with my Mother In Law …

Dear Gillian,

I am having problems getting on with my mother in law. I know this is going to sound stupid, but my mother in law is becoming too much for me to handle. She really seems to hate me, she never has a good word to say for anyone, especially me. I have not done anything to her. I think she may be jealous of the close relationship I have with my husband.  He has tried talking to her but nothing has changed. I would like to be able to forgive her and move on, but if this does not stop I am going to have to put my foot down and not allow her in the house, as I feel so uncomfortable when she is around.

Dear Sandra,

Your full email (only part of which is printed here) brings a feeling of anger and hurt from you. It seems to me that for some reason you push each others buttons, you may have some issues that need to be cleared as this is not just her problem. I feel that you may have made more progress if you had spoken to her, rather than getting your husband to do it. This puts him in the go between position and I can well imagine how stressful he is finding it.

If you really feel that you cannot talk with her then I recommend writing an angel letter  which helps on several levels. You start by writing at the top “This is a letter from the higher self of Sandra to the higher self of……putting her name. Then start the letter  “Dear…..”, you then write down all that has gone on between you that has hurt, upset or made you angry. Tell her everything, do not hold back, no one else is going to read this. Once you have got all that down on paper, write another paragraph this time talking about the good that has come from her presence in your life for example the fact that if not for her you would never have had such a wonderful partner in your life. You might talk about things that you have learned from the experience  and then write about how you would like things to be between you. Once this is complete you sign off with love, fold the letter up and put it somewhere private for 48hours. After this time burn it.

It is called an Angel Letter because it is believed by some to be delivered by the Angels from your spiritual self to the others spiritual self. This is also a tried and tested technique used by psychologists to assist the releasing process. It clarifies your thinking whilst you write it and assists in the releasing process.  It’s worth a go!

I also believe that you would benefit from seeing a therapist or going on a workshop to help you identify negative patterns or beliefs that may be contributing to this conflict, as it is quite likely that even if your mother in law leaves your life you will encounter another with similar issues.