I just do not feel happy …

Dear Gillian,

Having read some of the letters on your site I feel a bit like a “whinger” as my issue does not seem to be anywhere near as bad, but I feel like I am coming to a crisis point and so I thought I would write to you anyway. basically I have a pretty good job, well paid etc. I do not have a relationship at the moment (through choice) as I do not want the hassle of it all. On the face of it I live the kind of life other people think looks great, no real responsibilities, travel, good car etc. However, I do not feel happy. I know it sounds pathetic but I feel empty and I cannot remember a time when I felt happy. I don’t think I am depressed but maybe I am.

Dear Tony,

None of what you have written “sounds pathetic”, it may be that you are depressed and that this has crept up on you a little, but you have identified that something is wrong and you are attempting to put it right so that is a very positive start.

If you do feel you are depressed then it is a good idea to see your doctor and get checked out by a specialist.  Just because you have what others may deem a good job, or nice lifestyle that does not mean you “should” be happy. Happiness is about accepting and loving yourself exactly as you are without any trappings, it is about doing the things you love with the people you love and who love you and feeling good about the contribution you make to the world in whatever form it takes.

I am amazed at how many people end up doing jobs for years because others think they should (parents etc.), or because the pay is good, rather than because they really want to. Then they wonder why they feel so unhappy. The same can apply to relationships. From your comment about the hassle of it I would say you have not had the happiest of experiences in that department, but again this occurs because you have old negative thought and belief patterns that you have acquired since you were born. such patterns can lead you to attract partners that confirm these beliefs.

What do I recommend for you?

A stock take and clear out.  Take time out now to look at what has really been going on in your life. Review everything about your life and see if it really fits for you. On my workshops we do a lot of inner child work and  delve into the subconscious, this is followed by clearing out any negative thought patterns or beliefs that no longer serve you today. Once these are released you can feel the weight lifting and can start to clearly see where it is you want to go with your life and what you really want. It also opens the door for love to enter your life both from yourself and others. Once this happens the joy and happiness returns.  Read Louise’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” to start with (available in your local library) and if you feel you need help from a trained practitioner let me know.  You deserve to be happy.