Wanting to have a child …

Dear Gillian,

I have been trying to get pregnant for what seems like forever. I have seen many specialists and they tell me that whilst there is nothing obvious preventing me from getting pregnant there are some abnormalities in my womb. I have changed my diet and tried anything and everything available. Can you help?

Dear Tanya,

As you know I am not a doctor and I am delighted to read that you have seen various medical specialists, as it is very important to get a proper diagnosis and treatment where appropriate. You do not give me any information regarding the “abnormalities” you speak of, but that really does not matter, the doctors can see no reason why you cannot get pregnant.

Not being able to conceive strikes at the very heart of being a woman ( the ability to procreate is also extremely fundamental to men). As women we already know how emotions and events can completely upset our natural rhythm within our bodies and we accept this on a physical level when it affects our periods, moods and overall health. However, we often do not realise how past negative experiences or feedback from others (possibly in childhood, and often unintentional) can be having a real effect on us today. It is very important to get back in touch with these underlying patterns and beliefs that we may be totally unaware of, clear them out and replace them with positive thoughts and beliefs which support us mentally, emotionally and physically.

Right now I would suggest you take the baby off the agenda completely and relax. Believe and trust that if you are meant to have a child, you will. When we try really hard to make things happen we put our bodies under stress. Women in particular tend to tense the muscles in their abdomens when under stress and you can immediately see why that would be disastrous in your case. Your relationship with your husband will similarly be more stressful, as you are both focussing on this goal and feeling failures when it does not materialise.  If you both decide not to try for a while, just enjoy each others company, do things you really love, both as a couple and as individuals. Take time to enjoy and be grateful for all the wonderful things you do have in your life rather than what you do not have, and do things you may not have done in a long time.

Take extra time for relaxation including yoga or pilates, for physical and emotional well being. Join a meditation group or try it for yourself, when you learn to quieten your thoughts and relax your body you can just ask the question “What is it I need to know?” and wait patiently for the answer.

Long held anger and resentment can cause dis-ease within the body and prevent joy entering your life, you may need assistance in first getting in touch with those emotions and then releasing them from your system. Read Louise Hays book “You Can Heal Your Life” , join a workshop or find a mentor/coach to help you.

If you take the time to heal your life holistically rather than just work on one facet of it, changes will take place quite naturally and if it is right for you then one of those changes may be a baby.

Read what worked for me in my own personal healing story.

With love,