Was I abused as a child? …

Dear Gillian,

I know this is going to sound really stupid, I am afraid that I may have been abused as a child and just cannot remember it.  I have not had very good relationships to date and I find myself feeling fearful as someone gets close to me.  I can remember some of my childhood but other parts seem missing.  As I look back over photographs from my childhood I always look unhappy, never smiling and my brothers look the same.  What can I do, is hypnosis the answer to try and remember?

Dear Jessica,

Thank you for your letter. Fear of what may be lurking behind closed doors or under the bed can cause as much upset as actual knowledge.  Shedding some light on your childhood memories I believe would help.  Before trying hypnosis I would suggest you try some inner child work. Getting back in touch with that little girl (with guidance) who may still be feeling lost, alone or frightened will enable you to make her feel safe.  As this feeling of safety builds the missing parts of your memory may return.  The sub conscious tends to hold onto experiences that were traumatic and keeps them from us to keep us safe and allow us to function, but over time this can cause all sorts of health problems and can lead to depression. As you work on yourself and your personal healing, learning to love and accept yourself “warts and all”, the sub conscious will start to release the secrets so that you can deal with it knowing that you are in the process of healing and can handle it. I urge you to find a local practitioner who can assist you with this, or join us on a workshop and get to explore your subconscious with a group of warm, likeminded people.

It may be that there is nothing horrible to find in your past. As a child something may have happened that frightened you or was misunderstood from a Childs perspective and it may be easy to get in touch with that and clear it up.  There are also many forms of abuse apart from sexual or violence, there can be verbal or just having been denied love or the security you needed at a crucial stage in your development. Do not assume the worst and certainly do not worry or agonise about it, that will only put you and your body under more stress.

If at some stage you do decide to go to a hynotherapist, check out their qualifications and background, get a referral or a recommendation if at all possible.

Whatever you choose to do or not to do I am here if you need me.