Why can’t I have a decent guy in my life …

Dear Gillian,

I am so tired of going out with men who are either married, control freaks or just take advantage of me. Are there any good, trustworthy single men out there?  I am an honest, generous person so why is this happening to me? My friends have had similar experiences, so it’s not just me! Why can’t I have a decent guy in my life?

Dear Sally,

On some level you are attracting these types of people into your life because of deep long held beliefs about men as well as women. It is interesting that your female friends are having similar experiences. You see we attract friends and people into our lives that mirror our beliefs, so it comes as no surprise that those around you feel as you do.

That may all have sounded very negative however, it is quite the opposite. You have reached a point where you want something to change. The only person you can change is yourself, when you make those changes, healthy, loving relationships will flow into your life. You are closer than you know to this experience. You need to start by loving yourself and believing that you deserve love. The way forward is to get back in touch with those negative sub-conscious beliefs, release them and replace them with positive loving thoughts. This will involve reviewing your childhood and the beliefs you have acquired over the years from family and other key individuals. You will also need to release various emotions like anger and hurt that you have experienced and possibly suppressed from “bad” relationships.

If you feel you can do this by yourself then I would start now by affirming to yourself “I am loving and lovable and I deserve all good in my life” and use positive affirmations to support yourself. There are many books including those by Louise Hay to help with the DIY approach and you may want to affirm that “what I need comes to me easily” in assisting the choice. In addition you may want to see a practitioner one to one or go to a workshop to shift things more quickly if necessary.

I know that you deserve a loving, healthy and mutually supportive relationship. When you too know this then you will have exactly that.