Woman at work making my life difficult

Dear Gillian,

There is a woman at work making my life difficult. She is my line manager, which makes it really difficult to complain as she is the one I would normally go to. I don’t want to go over her head as this could cause more bad feeling. I honestly do not know why she dislikes me so much, but no matter how hard I try or what I do it is never good enough. I feel she is talking to others behind my back and slagging me off. I really feel like resigning.

Dear Veronica,

We spend a large part of our time in work, more time than with family or friends and so it is not surprising that problems can arise in the relationships we have with bosses or work mates.

Firstly let’s take a step back. Ask yourself:


  • Do I like my job?¬† You need to establish regardless of your Manager, how you feel about your job. Sometimes we are prompted to move on to a new job ourselves and if we do not take this prompt then the universe assists by creating the need to move on. On the other hand if this is work that you love or are happy with then it is well worth resolving the issues that have arisen.
  • Do I like my Manager (and if not why not)? ¬†Take a moment to reflect on exactly what it is that you do not like about her.
  • Has this happened before in a previous job? Relationships with others reflect either our own behaviour patterns or beliefs about ourselves and the way life and other people are. Most of the time we are unaware of the many judgements we have and make. But if you find that you often have conflict in relationships then this is a message that there is something within yourself that you need to resolve.

If you truly love yourself then you attract loving and harmonious relationships into your life. If on some level you believe you are not good enough, will never amount to anything, do not deserve love or appreciation or something similar then this will be your experience.

Where did these beliefs come from? Childhood experiences and those at key stages in our lives, messages verbal or otherwise that we were given by our parents or other adults can create these beliefs.

We can never change anyone else, but we can change ourselves and that very act brings about change in others. It is worth remembering that this manager is another human being who is probably hurting or in some way feels insecure or unloved and is taking it out on those around her. I do not excuse this behaviour but she is probably doing the best she can with the knowledge and understanding she has.

My advice to you right now is not to resign from your job but resign to loving yourself, start today by just looking at yourself in the mirror and saying this affirmation:

“I love and accept myself exactly as I am. I know that I deserve all good in my life and I know that any issues with my Manager are now resolved in the best and most harmonious way possible”.

Keep in touch.

Love and light,