Tag Archives: abuse

Was I abused as a child? …

Dear Gillian,

I know this is going to sound really stupid, I am afraid that I may have been abused as a child and just cannot remember it.  I have not had very good relationships to date and I find myself feeling fearful as someone gets close to me.  I can remember some of my childhood but other parts seem missing.  As I look back over photographs from my childhood I always look unhappy, never smiling and my brothers look the same.  What can I do, is hypnosis the answer to try and remember? Continue reading

It’s so unfair what they have done to me especially my Father …

Dear Gillian,

I am 40 years old and when I was a child my mother left and my father took me to live with him and my new step mother.  She abused me mentally and verbally and could be physical. I am particularly hurt by my father who allowed her to treat me badly and just did not seem interested in me.  I have spent a lot of time in therapy dealing with all this. I still contact them but they never offer me any kindness or love.  I was wondering as time goes on with all  this stuff and I begin to like/love myself more and more if you stop wishing for what you never had? Continue reading

Relationships

RelationshipsEverything we do involves relationships, work, play, love, whether with people, places or things.  Relationships are said to be mirrors of our lives and our beliefs about ourselves.  Our relationships with others are also said to be our greatest teachers but what does that mean?  In order to answer that question I will break it down into various topics below, but put simply all relationships involve You and Them. They do, say or behave one way and you respond by doing, saying or behaving another way. You react to what comes at you based on past experiences/traumas/scenarios. Your views on life and relationships are coloured by what has occurred in your own life and what you were taught or picked up from your parents/carers/siblings/peers and teachers as you grew up. So are you stuck with that? No. If you are experiencing difficult relationships you need to know that it is as much what you are giving out as what you are getting back. Once you change or release negative patterns of thought and behaviour then all your relationships change. You ca Continue reading