Everything we do involves relationships, work, play, love, whether with people, places or things. Relationships are said to be mirrors of our lives and our beliefs about ourselves. Our relationships with others are also said to be our greatest teachers but what does that mean? In order to answer that question I will break it down into various topics below, but put simply all relationships involve You and Them. They do, say or behave one way and you respond by doing, saying or behaving another way. You react to what comes at you based on past experiences/traumas/scenarios. Your views on life and relationships are coloured by what has occurred in your own life and what you were taught or picked up from your parents/carers/siblings/peers and teachers as you grew up. So are you stuck with that? No. If you are experiencing difficult relationships you need to know that it is as much what you are giving out as what you are getting back. Once you change or release negative patterns of thought and behaviour then all your relationships change. You can only work on yourself, you cannot change anyone else but you can exhaust yourself trying! Life Healing provides quick change in relationship dynamics via a workshop or personal Relationship Action Consultation.
Parents – the relationship we have with our Parents is one of the most influential. Siblings and the rivalry, attachments and detachments that occur can seriously impact your life and other relationships. In addition as we get older the death of both our parents can bring more than just a sense of loss as we become and adult orphan. Read more..
Think about your romantic relationships:
why did the last one finish or come to an end?
Have you experienced that before?
We all think that if we could just change the other person or get them to see our side then all would be well and we would live happily ever after. In actual fact it is us that need to make the changes.
We can dramatically improve, heal and resolve conflict by doing the necessary work on ourselves. Following workshops it is wonderful and amazing how many people tell me that problems seemed to have magically dissolved, that difficult or violent people have left their lives or that family rifts are healing. This is not magic it comes from the releasing work they have done and a change in their perspective. Read More
Friends can bring us joy, sometimes feel closer than family and can seem to “really understand” us. Sometimes, however, they can be a drain and bring out the worst in us.
Whatever our friends are like they reflect facets of us, sometimes those facets are rejected or dis-owned parts of ourselves.
So It is worth considering who your friends are and the qualities they have. Are you mutually supportive? Do you spend time with certain friends in certain circumstances e.g when things are going wrong but not when everything is alright? Does your friend only seek you out when she/he is in trouble? Do they bring out the best in you and see the best in you even when you don’t?
Friends are those who walk alongside us for a while on our journey. They can teach us many lessons about ourselves, beliefs and attitudes but they are not there to use. They are not our therapist and must be treated with the respect, love and kindness that we want to experience.
What you will notice as you make personal changes for the better is that your friends will quite naturally and painlessly change around you although if you have some unhealthy friendships they will feel less comfortable with you and move on. You will notice new, more uplifting people will enter your life.
Read some of the letters I have received and the answers given on this topic (see below):
Grief is a very personal thing, in my experience of research and listening to others, no two people grieve in the same way although there may be similarities. Those who specialise in grief counseling will tell you that it goes through specific phases – denial, anger, sadness, bargaining and acceptance. I have never liked any sort of prescriptive statement of an emotional process like this. Whenever people encounter it whilst grieving they invariably try to work out what part of the process they are in and if they fit the “norm”. Read more..
Think for a moment :
Do you have a recurrent problem e.g do you have problems with work colleagues or one person in particular making life difficult?
Did you experience this in your last place of work as well?
Here is a letter I have received and answered on this topic: